Go Your Own Way

 On January 21, 2022, Jason and I toured the campus of Michigan Technological University in Houghton, Michigan with our oldest son, Owen.  After meeting with advisors and students in his desired cybersecurity field, and learning of all the wintertime fun students had there in that little city just about as far north as you could travel and still be in Michigan, Owen thought this would be a great place to spend the next four years of his life.  We could never have predicted that just 32 days later, Owen would be sworn in as a future recruit for the United States Marine Corps.  

Back in 2003, when I was 20 weeks pregnant and went in for the anatomy scan, I was dreaming of a little girl.  I was a girl, I knew how girls worked, a girl would be perfect.  And then the ultrasound tech announced, "It's a boy!" A boy?  And then I instantly thought, now my other kids will have a big brother to look up to.

I remember the day we were first leaving the hospital with our new baby, Owen.  As I filled out the discharge papers, I thought it was so crazy that they were just going to let me take this tiny baby home without any kind of instructions.  You've had your baby, he's healthy, congratulations and goodbye.  It took a couple weeks, but soon enough we fell into an eat, sleep, poop routine.  Owen was a good baby.  He slept through the night at six weeks, sat up by six months, walked at one year.  This motherhood thing was a breeze!  

Then, along came his little sister, Emerson.  Being just sixteen months apart, Owen and Emerson were like two peas in a pod.  He really was the best big brother.

Soon, amid Baby Einstein and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, we found ourselves building a new house and expecting another baby.  By October, 2007, baby Greyson joined the mix and Owen was now a big brother to two.

Owen also started preschool that year at the Montessori here in town, and he loved it.  His teacher, Mrs. Esper, was so amazing!  When he wasn't busy with school, we snuck off to ForMar Nature Preserve for adventures every chance we got.  

In 2009, as the economy began to tumble, we moved again and had another baby.  Miss Alayna joined our family in July of that year, making Owen a really big brother to three younger siblings.

Owen headed off to Kindergarten in the Fall of 2009.  He had learned how to read and write quite well and excelled in school.  

At the end of Kindergarten, Owen lost his first tooth and promptly swallowed it.  Thankfully, the Tooth Fairy was understanding and left him some money under his pillow anyway.

That summer was filled with trips to the cabin and his first year of baseball.  He wore his lucky hat and vest every time he went fishing!

By the time he headed to First Grade, Owen was an old pro at this school thing.  His confidence and excitement were very helpful as Emerson headed off to Kindergarten and Greyson headed off to Montessori.  

This is where life got a little crazy.  Jason took a job in Tennessee, and while he left to get started down there, I stayed in Michigan to finish the school year and sell the house.  In June, we said goodbye to everything we had ever known and headed off on an adventure south.

Clarksville, Tennessee is military town.  Fort Campbell is the home of the Army's 101st Airborne Division and the 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment.  This meant that the vast majority of people living in Clarksville were not from Clarksville.  Everyone was from somewhere else, just like us.  My kids loved the diversity of their schools, meeting people from many different cultures, and they made a lot of friends.  Any chance I got, I'd take the kids on hikes at Dunbar Cave.  I couldn't get enough of the trails there and the long loop was just the right length for an adventure with younger kids.  With Nashville just a short drive away, we had lots of visitors during our time there.

We also loved our nights at Jazz on the Lawn.  A local winery hosted live bands and we would dance and hang out until dark.  Those were definitely some fun nights!

As always, we'd squeeze in little adventures anytime we could.  We explored Mammoth Cave and made the trip to a little lake with a private cove we found as often as possible.

Almost as soon as we were feeling settled in Tennessee, Jason's job abruptly ended and once again, we were on the move.  This time we headed to North Canton, Ohio.  We wasted no time heading to Lake Erie to explore the shoreline.

Somewhere between Tennessee and Ohio, Owen had made the comment that we should have one more baby because there was one more seat in the van.  Ha!  Well, his wish came true when we found out we were expecting baby number five.

Then it was time for another new school. Owen was now in Third Grade.  In Tennessee, cursive handwriting was taught in Third Grade.  In Ohio, cursive handwriting was taught in Second Grade.  Owen had missed his chance to learn cursive, and to this day, can only read and write print!  His teachers assured him it would be fine because surely in the near future, everything would be computer-based with no need for cursive handwriting. It would've been nice for Owen to learn how to sign his name, though!

In November, 2012, baby Nash joined our family. Owen now had the huge responsibility of being the oldest brother of four siblings.  

We had lots of adventures in Ohio.  Amish country was a fall favorite, where we could snuggle puppies for as long as we'd like and then gorge on homemade baked goods.  And of course, we'd always find new trails to explore where Owen would make his way out as far as possible!

Just like that, it was time for a new school year.  By the fall of 2013, Owen had given up baseball in favor of basketball.  His team went undefeated that year and he had so much fun!

Nearly every year, we traveled to Florida to spend some time with Nana and Grandpa.  Owen is always the first one in the ocean, and the one we usually have to drag out at the end.  In fact, I've never seen a body of water he won't get into.  He totally gets that from Jason.

After two years in Ohio, we said  goodbye yet again, and moved back to Michigan.  We squeezed our family of seven into the home we had rented out before we left and began house hunting.  We needed more space!  Owen was headed off to Hahn that year, and had to get on the bus an hour before the rest of the kids.  My mama heart was a little sad he was growing up so quickly, but he was ready for the adventure.

Before school started the next fall, Owen enjoyed golfing and fishing, and then we made an announcement: We bought a farm.  That first year was a whirlwind.  Home renovations were broken up with as much outside time as possible.  We explored our property, the old barn, the Hogbacks.  We had never lived anywhere but in subdivisions, and this was all new to us.

Somewhere around this time, Owen fell in love with reading.  By middle school, his teachers’ only complaint of him at conferences was that he read too much. Too much reading? That’s not a thing.  By 8th grade, everyone in the school library knew who Owen was.  All that reading definitely left an imprint on him because he’s also a fantastic writer.  Over the years, I’ve gotten to read just a small sampling of essays and papers he’s written, and man, he’s good at that.

In the summer of 2016, I somehow convinced Owen and Emerson to do the Couch-to-5k running program with me, ending with a 5k race.  We spent the whole summer running in the blazing Michigan heat.  I discovered that if I could tell interesting stories for every run, I'd distract them enough to keep them running and get them through the program.  We talked about everything, and I mean everything.  To have these moments with just my biggest two kids at a time in their lives when they were going through so many changes, was so special to me.  After enduring months of heat, race day gave us pouring rain.  We threw on hats and crushed that race!

Owen would go on to run two years of middle school cross-country.  Of course, I loved following him to all of his events and cheering him on through muddy trails and being so proud of how much he improved each season.

Middle school was capped off with a class trip to Washington D.C.  Owen had never really been away from home before, but he had so much fun there, especially with his friend, Ivan.

And then it was time for high school.  At parent orientation, the principal gives the same speech every year about how the next four years of your child’s life will fly by, and that is the truth!  Shortly after starting his freshman year, Owen decided to apply to be a part of the robotics team.  If there was ever a group that my computer-loving, gaming boy would be a part of, this sounded like a good fit.  Soon, we were notified that he had made the team and they welcomed him, and us, with open arms.  I loved that the senior members of the team treated the youngest members as equals.  The team went on to the World Championships held in Detroit, and it was pretty amazing to see all those kids from all over the world doing amazing things.  Owen had a blast that first year of robotics and learned so much. 

Homecoming and Snowcoming Dances were also part of the fun of being in high school!

After his freshman year was under his belt, Owen got his first car.  It was tiny and blue and we aptly named it "Lil Blue".  

That summer, we also took a huge family trip west.  Among our travel adventures, Owen jumped into Blue Hole in New Mexico, stood on a corner in Winslow, Arizona, loomed over the immense Grand Canyon, swam in a river in Colorado, and visited those old presidents of Mount Rushmore.  

In the fall of 2019, Owen began his sophomore year of high school.  I'd like to note that somewhere in the year leading up to this point, Owen grew a TON.  I mean, we knew it was coming, and when it did, he went from about 5'8" to 6'3" really quickly.  (And then added another inch to that in the next couple of years!)  He also continued to read ALL the books.  He was a regular in the school library and they always had the next book waiting for him! That fall Homecoming was another fun event, our high school football team won the state championship, and the robotics team was gearing up for another banner season. Snowcoming went off without a hitch, too.

 Then March of 2020 arrived, and the world shut down.  What began as an extended Spring Break, quickly turned into scrambling for home workspaces and Chromebooks and learning new ways of teaching.  The pandemic also squashed our travel plans to Florida, and pretty much anywhere else.  Our time was spent between home and the cabin and we spent so much time outside.  Maybe the pandemic closed doors on a lot of human interaction, but it brought our family closer together. 

By summertime, we found our "new normal" and widened our circle a little bit.  In July of  2020, Owen made his first trip around the lake on foot.  I say on foot, but really, there are sections so thick with muck that a good deal of swimming was involved.  This tradition has continued every year since, with varying people, but Owen and Jason are always up for the challenge.

Out of state travel was still frowned upon, but we needed adventure.  We headed to the Upper Peninsula where Owen truly had the best time.  From cliff jumping at Black Rocks, to kayaking in Copper Harbor, to nights at the campfire snacking on roasted potatoes, Owen fell in love with this land.

Owen's junior year of school began as scheduled, but with face masks for everyone. Unfortunately, the robotics season was canceled for the second year in a row due to the pandemic.  With teams having to work together in very close quarters and competitions packing thousands of people into indoor arenas, there was no way to pull off a safe and successful season.  I was sad for Owen because he didn't get the classic high school experience, but someday when he's old and gray, he'll be telling stories of way back when he survived, and thrived, in a pandemic.  Oh, and did I mention he taught himself to play the piano and the kalimba?  This kid is something else!

The summer before his senior year, Owen got his first job working at Menard's.  He also spent a lot of time just having fun adventures as often as possible.  From go-carts to carnivals, boat rides and fireworks and another trip around our lake, he squeezed a lot in.

 Then it was time to for Owen's senior year.  Senior pictures were taken.  A new job was started-at a pizza place!  My little boy wasn't so little anymore.

Senior year Homecoming was best spent with friends, and Owen had fun with Emerson and his best friend, Ivan. 

In October of 2021, I scored some super cheap plane tickets and we booked an Airbnb just a block from the ocean in south Florida.  We literally parked our car and did nothing but eat, swim, and relax for an entire week, and it was amazing. Owen spent hours and hours swimming in calm, deep waters, searching for treasures.  The weather was perfect the entire vacation and because it was off-peak season, there were no crowds of people and no waiting in long lines to eat in restaurants.  I don't think any of us had a bad time.

That brings us to January, when we made that trip to Houghton and toured the campus of Michigan Tech.  We came home from that visit with a clear vision of what college life would be like for Owen for the next four years.

And then he got a phone call from a recruiter. Within a couple days we were meeting in their office.  They thought Owen might be interested in joining the Marine Reserves.  But Owen wasn't interested in it for the money, and traveling to and from Houghton for his duty would be tough.  He came home that night and made a list of pros and cons for joining the Marines.  And honestly, there wasn't a lot on that con side.  At the bottom of the pro side?  One word: BADASS.  

The next day Owen called them.  He wanted to know if he could be guaranteed the MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) of his choice.  They kind of gave him the side eye and said they'd see how he tested.  So we went to the office again.  They said if he scored high enough on the PiCat test, that he would have more options. He did very well. Actually, the recruiters said it was one of the highest scores they had seen personally. Excellent!  Owen asked again if they could guarantee his MOS.  They said they could recommend him but that there were no guarantees.  Owen had been planning his future for several years at this point and yes, he wanted to be a Marine, but he also wanted to be doing something relevant for his long term future.  He told them thanks, but no thanks.  He was out.

That was a Saturday, late in the day. An hour later, his phone rang again.  It was the recruiter.  Again.  IF Owen made it through MEPS and IF Owen scored high enough on the cybersecurity test, then yes, they would get him the MOS he wanted.  On February 22, 2022, after making it through MEPS and killing it on the cybersecurity test, Owen took the oath to become a future Marine.

Once you have committed to the Marines but are not yet at Boot Camp, you are referred to as a Poolee. Aside from individual and group workouts to build strength and endurance, Owen had an added task: GAIN WEIGHT.  At 6'4" tall and weighing 152.5 pounds, he was just a half pound over the minimum allowed weight for admission.  The recruiters wanted him to gain at least 10 pounds, if not more.  Bring on the food!

Owen had a little less than five months before he'd be shipping out-plenty of time for more adventures!  The robotics season wrapped up with a grand finale in Houston, Texas at the World Championships. 

We took a road trip to Florida for Spring Break and some much needed warmth.

Owen literally met his prom date for the first time in person when he picked her up to go to prom, and they had such a fun night together.  

We road-tripped to Wisconsin via the Upper Peninsula for a family wedding, with a stop under the Mackinaw Bridge and a frigid swim in Lake Michigan on the Wisconsin side.

Owen and I went to our last Wednesday morning breakfast together-something we had been doing since he started high school.

Family and his recruiter joined in to attend Owen's high school graduation ceremony.

Owen and his grandpas went on an epic fishing trip on Lake Huron off the coast of Presque Isle. In just a few short (and chilly) hours, they caught their limit of fish!

Then we partied it up at his graduation open house.  With friends and family, tons of farm animals and new kittens, not to mention that  pull up bar and the dirt bikes, there was definitely something fun for everyone.

And then it seemed like time was moving at light speed.  The countdown changed from several weeks to less than a month.  We spent some time at the cabin, he made his yearly trip around the lake, and Owen even squeezed in another quick trip to the UP with friends. 

Then it was the last day.  The last day I'd be able to hug my boy until October.  And it was hard.  We spent the day together as a family and there were no dry eyes as we pulled away from his hotel.  

Yes, I'm sad that I won't see my boy for thirteen weeks, but I am so excited for his future and so damn proud of what he will become.    I have always tried to show my kids that you don't always have to do what everyone else is doing.  Seek adventure.  Take chances.  Find your own path.  I am not scared for what lies ahead for Owen.  He is smart and his mind is strong.  He has never wavered once from this choice he has made.  I remember when my kids were little and they were on the edge of losing their front baby teeth.  It always made me a little sad knowing that once those teeth fell out, their faces would be changed forever.  I know that Owen will be forever changed by this adventure, but I know more than a few good Marines, and he will be joining their family.

Today Owen traveled to San Diego for Boot Camp.  Normally, Poolees east of the Mississippi head to Parris Island for Boot Camp, but his Grandpa, Steve, went to Boot Camp in San Diego way back when. Through the Legacy Program, Owen gets to follow in his Grandpa's footsteps and attend Boot Camp in San Diego as well.  I know he was a ball of nerves and emotions on his flights today, but I think he's just ready to get this next adventure started. These are last messages from my boy.  The next time I see him he will be a United States Marine.

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