Day Two: Owen

Thirty Days of Thankfulness, Day Two

I remember the first time we conceived.  The first month we tried, it happened.  Two short weeks later there were two pink lines on a pregnancy test. Easy as that.

Until it wasn't.  That pregnancy ended around the eight week mark.  I was crushed. A miscarriage?  I didn't know anyone who had had a miscarriage.  Surely I must've done something to have caused this, right?  In my excitement, I had told family, friends, coworkers and my third grade classroom full of students that I was expecting. And then we weren't.

I had a million questions. I wanted to know why this had happened, and more importantly, would it happen again?  I read everything I could get my hands on.  I scoured the internet.  Many people shared with me their stories of loss.  It was hard to believe that so many of my friends and family had experienced what I had also gone through.

When we were given the go-ahead, we did.  Just like the first time, after just one month, there were those two pink lines again.  I was excited, but cautious.  My doctor was wonderful.  She addressed all of my concerns and took every precaution and after seeing that little flutter of a heartbeat at the eight week mark, I relaxed a little.  I decided to rent a fetal doppler so I could listen to that heartbeat anytime I wanted to.  And I did! I'd sneak off to listen any chance I got, and when family stopped over, I let them listen, too.  During the anatomy scan at twenty weeks, I was excited to hear the ultrasound tech tell me this baby inside me was a girl.  I knew it was a girl. I could feel it.  So when she said, "See that right there?  You're having a BOY!", I was shocked!  A boy?  What was I going to do with a boy?  I'm a girl.  I only know how to do girl things!  My mind was swimming.  Blue.  Cars.  Trucks.  Boy noises.  Bugs.  Baseball Hats.  Potty training.  Boy craziness!  A BOY?!

By the time I got back to my car that day, all thoughts of a girl in my belly had vanished.  A boy.  My boy.  He was going to be the best big brother in the whole world!  After that, I went shopping and I'm pretty sure I picked out everything blue in the entire store.

In the last almost 13 years, I've done it.  I've made it through the cars and trucks, I've learned how to make some boy noises, I've become quite accustomed to bugs and snakes and caterpillars and I even made it through potty training.

Owen isn't a wild and crazy boy.  He's  thinker-he's always thinking.  He is full of useful and not-so-useful knowledge that he picks up by reading books and magazines.  He loves facts.  You know what else he loves?  Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and running.  Is this my kid, or what?!

And while he might be able to spend an entire day in his room playing Minecraft, as soon as I suggest we go outside, he's down the stairs and slipping into his shoes and off to play with the kids and animals and hunt for eggs.

After almost 13 years with him, I can tell you, he really is the best big brother in the whole world.  He is strong, and silent, and level-headed, and funny, and I am so thankful that I get to be his mom.